Pocket Recipes for the Pokémon Trainer
So you’ve gone and done it. You’ve cast off the chains of your middle-school and have set out to become a Pokémon Trainer. Good for you! The open road, new and exciting creatures to discover and conquer. It’s going to be just like camping, except Dad’s not there to carry the cooler. And as jobs go, hunting Pokémon doesn’t really pay very well. But that’s okay, right? You can live off the land, collecting berries and making your own fabulous meals over the campfire. I thought so! So to help you on your way, we’re bringing you the best in Pokémon camping cuisine. Each recipe is easy to make (provided you’ve captured the right Pokémon, of course) and is tailored to the regions those Pokémon come from, so ingredients should be easy to find.
Shōyu de Poppo
8 Pidgey (bone-in, skin on, split)
I know, it seems like a lot for just one person, but the little f*ckers are everywhere. You can bag a dozen per day if you have enough pokéballs. In their first evolution, they are pretty small, so you want to cook as many as you can fit in the pan.
1 cup of water
It’s clever, isn’t it? Pidgey is known for hunting over water (especially Magikarp, which explains why Gyarados are just so hard to find, the Pigey’s eat ‘em all before they can evolve!)
½ cup razz berry vinegar
If you’re still young enough to enjoy Pokémon Go, you may not yet have a bottle of this in your kit. Hip up a Pokéstop, they’re bound to have some to hand. Trust me, this makes everything taste good, they even put it on ice cream.
1/3 cup soy sauce
That’s about 25 soy sauce packets if you’re swiping them from your local Panda Express.
2 ½ Tablespoons sugar
About 8 sugar packets if, like me, you snag a couple extra when buying your morning latte.
1 Figy, split and the seeds removed.
Just remember, like the habaneros you find in the supermarket, it’s the seeds of the Figy that pack the real punch!
Put all the ingredients (except the Pidgey) into a saucepan and boil it for about 20 minutes. Add the Pidgey and cook, turning frequently until the liquid has been reduced to a sticky glaze.
Arrange on a serving platter (we may be camping, but we’re not savages!) and spoon the remaining glaze over the Pidgey before serving.
If you are going with a later evolution, you can feed a couple of people with just a single Pidgeotto, and if you are truly lucky and have managed to bag a Pidgiot, well you’ll need to quintuple this recipe and call the whole family to enjoy!